Too Choosy (and why I’ll be single forever)

Too shiny
Too polka dotty
Too hair big at the sidesy
Too work hard play hardy
Too old for her glasses

Too massive
Too close
Too black (not a racial thing, just wouldn’t look right against my pasty skin)
Too 70’s furniture in the backgroundy
Too elegant
Too elephant
Too picture taken in the basementy

Too green eye-shadowy
Too jowly
Too owly
Too horse friendly
Too insane
Too nice
Too stonkingly attractive
Too I’m not sure which one you actually are? Hopefully not the ugly one?

Too pearl necklessy
Too aware of her failings
Too rubbish at arty
Too big glasses trendy
Too “consistent in thinking and behaviour”
Too pink with black bra-y
Too roses around the front of the doory

Too I’m probably into dogging
Too looks like an old actress that I can’t quite put my finger on
Too unbalanced – Pic with a bandanna, pic with your grandma…
Too obviously “life of the party”

Too jettisoned
Too 80’s hairy
Too “From penzance”
Too tarot card readerish
Too “I love my kids”
Too I wear black like Demis Roussos (we know why)
Too I can drink a pint with lads
AHHH – Too perfect…

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