Too Choosy (and why I’ll be single forever)

By April 5th, 2026Humorous2 min read

Too fawning
Too early-morning
Too up-you-get-and-do-stop-yawning

Too off her tree
Too chimpanzee
Too lost at sea
Too thin to float
Two men in a coat

Too close
Too black (not a racial thing, just wouldn’t look right against my pasty skin)
Too 70’s furniture in the backgroundy

Too picture taken in the basementy
Too rock’n’roll
Too south of Northern Soul
Too pissed and proud
Too Turin shroud

Too I’m not sure which one you actually are?
Too “consistent in thinking and behaviour”
Too roses around the front of the doory

Too many broken parts
Too many martial arts
Too wit to woo
Too too nice to talk to
Too stonkingly attractive

Too I’m probably into dogging
Too looks like an old actress that I can’t quite put my finger on
Too unbalanced – Pic with a bandanna, pic with your grandma…

Too News at Ten
Too I hate men
Too I think I might be gay
Too one step closer
and it’s the pepper spray

Too when will I see you again?
Too Nigel – Farage or Benn
To you
To all the ones who got away
Touché


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